Aug - Oct 2011 - Surgery Recap

I ended up going in for the saline induced ultrasound and Doc B. determined that the fibroid needed to come out. We are going to do the new 'robotic' surgery. They way this works is pretty cool. Doc will sit behind a computer screen with 2 remote controls. The remote controls will control 2 robotic arms that will be put inside me through tiny incisions and remove the fibroid. Overall, I will have 4 tiny cuts, one being in my belly button. Recovery time is less than 2 weeks. Surgery time is under 6 hours. It all sounds scary, but we're going to get it done. If I would go the normal route, they would do a c-section type cut and recovery time would be 8-12 weeks. We're going to do this downtown at Christ Hospital.

We schedule the surgery for October 20th at 7am. Before the surgery I have to go get prework done. In the meantime, I'm having a hard time with anxiety. I've got this weird feeling that the doc is going to cut me open and find all sorts of bad things. I know this is ridiculous, but with my mom's situation, I guess that is where I get these weird feelings. I have a bunch of sleepless nights where I really get myself worked up and sick. When we go in for the prework, I feel like I'm going to pass out and then just cry myself silly when I just get bloodwork done. I really know I need to get a handle on this and work really hard at this. It really is all mind of matter. 

I'm lucky to get all the paper work out of the way very quickly. I've scheduled off work for 2 weeks and feel I'll be working as soon as I start feeling better. Hoping for a quick recovery.

The day of surgery! I'm pretty nervous, but trying to keep my cool. Matt is great, as always. So completely supportive. We have to be at the hospital super early and its pouring as we head downtown. We get to the hospital and head up to a high floor where I'll have my surgery. Matt gets a nice little 'beeper' that will go off when my surgery is done and he can come back. He'll head out in a little bit to take Aspen to school and then will come back. This is good because then he won't just be sitting around in the room waiting for my name to come on the tech screen or the beeper to go off! :) We get to my room and the nurses are just so super nice. The room is all calming and high tech. I've got my own little TV that I put on to relax me while I wait for anesthesiologist to come in. I change and then get my vitals taken - all the normal stuff. I feel ok, but def am worried for when they start the IV and stuff. I hate needles. Doc B. stops in right when he gets to the hospital to come in and talk. I think this is really great. Makes things a little more personable. Then he goes to prep and of course I get all prepped up, too. Again, I get some calming drug to help out with my nerves and to help my blood pressure. Then we're off - rolling me down the hall on my bed.

The last part I remember is them moving me to the operating table and Doc. B putting his hand on my shoulder and telling me things are going to go great! Then I'm out. I wake up remember feeling pressure on my stomach and just so tired. Things are really foggy, but I think Matt comes in and tells me how Doc. B sat down with him after and walked him through everything that he did. Things went so great and he even had photos to give us. Not pretty - but showed what we had going on there. I didn't end up seeing the pics until much later. The pain meds are working pretty good, but they want me to try to go to the bathroom before I leave. This is really hard - but I manage and then my great nurse walks me through discharge and I'm wheeled out and to the car. They even have valet for us. 

The hospital and Doc. B made this a relaxing experience as possible. I'm so completely thankful for Matt, Doc.B and all the staff that took care of me during this time. It ended up that the fibroid was as large as a grapefruit and we were so fortunate to get it removed.

Over the next 2 weeks, I have such great care. Aspen & Ethan help out so much and of course Matt. Friends and family check in and I'm doing really well. Not trying to push it, like I've done before I do wait to go back to work until the end of the 2 weeks. We go into our post surgery with doc B and we decide to start our first IUI procedure as soon as I can. So, I get the scripts for clomid and trigger shot with instructions. I'm really excited to be starting this in 2 weeks! Just a month our of surgery and we're FINALLY going to start! We're so thankful for great insurance and great doctors and God!

July / August 2011 – Wonderful News that Crushes You

Wow – so in this virtual, social networking world we live in. I find out that my older brother and his girlfriend are expecting. What a complete shock this is to me. I am conservative. I am old fashioned and I hold strong values and morals. No shame on me. This is who I am and what I believe. So, I am completely in shock because they are not married and now pregnant? Finding out by facebook is also a shock, what great news, but through a website? Come on. My brother is not close to anyone at all, which is probably why he didn’t just call or email even. I’m not sure he knows how to handle the situation. I’m happy for them, however, I have a bit of jealousy. Trying for 4 years and not being able to have a baby and now I hear this. Its harsh and cruel it seems. I pray a lot about this. I can’t be this way. I need to be happy for them. And accept that this is what God has planned. It was not me to have the first child on our side of the family. It takes awhile, but I settle into the face that this is what is meant to be. I need to stay strong, be healthy and be ready to have my own baby, which means little stress.

August 2012 - Meet Dr. B

I’ve been waiting for this day. To meet my new doctor! Matt and I hear to Rookwood Commons to one of the IRH offices. I’m not sure what to expect, it is supposed to be our first consultation. We get to the office and it is very nice and relaxing. When we get back, they take my vitals and blood. I feel that the nurses are so friendly. More so than any I have other had experience with in any office. I suppose this is because of the nature of their practice. They are helping people make dreams come true. What a very special place. I hate needles and taking blood used to make me pass out. The nurse tells me this is something I’d better get used to (in a friendly and caring way) because they do that A LOT here. LOL.

About Dr. B

As we meet Dr. B, he is super causal and takes us into an office. He has my entire history in front of him. He has done his research from what I’ve been through so far. At this point, he is concerned with Matt’s morphology (sperm quality) and the darn fibroid. He very seriously tells me that if they were to proceed with any fertility treatments, such as IUI and IVF, if I were to get pregnant the fibroid would grow and impact the baby and me – putting us both in danger. He wants to do a saline ultrasound to get some exact measurements of the situation and from that point we’ll make a decision on what needs to happen next. He sketches what this looks like and how it will impact me. This really helps because I really have no idea. He does say that this may be causing heavy and prolonged periods. I’ve never had a short period, so I’ve always thought my were normal, but that may not be the case. He gives Matt a bunch of vitamins to start taking that will help with his side of the puzzle. I’m to call the office with the start of my next period and then we’ll schedule the SIS. While I’m not looking forward to this procedure, it is a step in the right direction and we are making progress.

We leave and we both are in agreement that we like this doctor and feel that he is going to be the one to help us get through this and onto our baby! We’re excited to get started and for once, I’m hoping my period comes early (not going to happen) so that we can get this SIS scheduled.

June - After 3 Months....So Long Dr. F

It has been an incredible summer! We celebrated Carol’s 80^th birthday (kind of Spring) and all the family came in. Except Chris. It was a great time. We then did our annual Florida trip over the 4^th of July. This year we did a small family trip and headed to St.George Island. It was our little family of Matt, Aspen and I and we took Ethan, Casey and Michael. It was a great time. Very relaxing and we fell in love with St.Geroge.

I’m ready to see what our next steps are for our baby. Its been one disappointing month after another. I head to Dr.Flemming’s Milford office for our next steps. Matt is not able to go with me, which I hate, but oh well. I’m super nervous, because I really don’t know what is going to happen next or what we are going to do. So far, I really thought that these procedures would resolve our issue. The nurse who takes my blood pressure and vitals is super sweet. She tells me ‘good luck’ before I go in the exam room. Dr.Flemming comes in and does a quick exam. Everything is where it should be. He then basically tells me that this is the end of the line with him. I’m devastated. Really. I was not expecting this and boy, my emotions were haywire. He then talks about my fibroid. While its there, he is unable to confirm if it is causing an issue or not. He tells me that it may need to be removed. It is serious, but I need to move on to a fertility specialist. I’m a mess. He wishes me well and gives me a hug. I think this is great. I really want this and don’t want another road block. After I calm down, get my self together and come out, he gives me a card to the Institute of Reproductive Health.

Immediately after I climb into my escalade, I call IRH. I remember not being able to get through right away, so I keep calling. Finally I get to leave a message. I explain my situation and hope that they can get me in right away. I’m not sure how difficult it is to get into a fertility clinic, but I need in NOW. Time is ticking by.

A few hours later, I do get a call back and they have an opening later that week. Perfect, I will take it. This is great. They will send me the paper work and we are on our way. My doctor will be Thomas Burwinkel. I remember thinking that is such a funny name, but it felt that he was supposed to be my new doctor. I’m nervous and excited for this next step in our journey. 

My New Doctor's Office

5/12/11 - Surgery

Time to get that little polyp removed. I have to get to Mercy Hospital super early, so I drive myself and Matt will arrive later to wait and be there for me. I get all checked in and am in the prep room. I have a wonderful nurse who really takes the time to talk to me, get to know why I'm here (as much as I want to share) and help me relax. I guess a good thing is that you have to remove your contacts and then I was not able to see a lot of what was going on. One thing that had been a constant in all my appointments so far is that my blood pressure has been kind of high. I know its nerves and stress, but I need to really work on this. 

Anyway, the anesthesiologist comes in and gets to work. While they do this, they put these amazingly soft boots on my lower legs and feet. They will actually massage my legs while I'm in surgery to keep them moving. It feels strange at first, but then really good! Needles in my hand and I'm talking a lot because I'm nervous. I'm asked if I want some 'calming' drugs and my nurse says,... yes, you probably want these. So, they hook me up and I'm feeling really relaxed in a matter of minutes!

The next thing I remember is waking up and slight cramping in my abdomen. Nothing major, but uncomfortable. I think Dr.Fleming came in to talk to me, but I can't really remember. I am told everything went fine and to take pain killers for the pain, etc. Polyp is all gone and everything else looked normal, but we still have the fibroid. You have to pee before you are discharged and this is really hard, lol. 

I recover really quickly. I have an exam with Dr.Fleming 2 weeks later to ensure I'm healed and everything is all good to go. I am and we are to try to have our baby the 'a la natural' way for 3 months and then go back in to see the doc. 

At this point, its almost summer and I'm thrilled to be able to be doctor free and feel this is it! Over the next few months we'll be baby making and there is nothing in our way!

4/13/11 - Die, Dye!

The morning of April 13th, I am a wreck. I have to get my HSG test to see if my fallopian tubes are blocked. Matt is able to take me to the Mercy Hospital for the procedure. We get there early and have to wait in the cold x-ray room. I am so blessed that Matt is here for me, but still nervous about this procedure. Dr.Fleming gets here and the x-ray tech arrive. I climb up on the huge table and the nurse helps me get as comfortable as possible. Dr.Fleming says it won't take long and to relax. Well, thank goodness Matt was there to hold my hand. The process was so incredibly painful! From inserting the catheter to when the dye was released! I had never felt anything like that. I actually cried it hurt so bad and I prayed that it would end! Later on I would read that if the dye gets pushed in to quickly, you get the severe, but quick cramping pains I got. Make sure your doc does this very, very, very slowly! LOL

The good news about this procedure is that you get your results right away. The x-rays show everything. I was able to see my uterus and the dye showed us that my tubes were squeaky clean! However, there was a little white finger looking thing on the inside of my cervix going into my uterus. Oh no! Turns out I have a polyp that Dr.Fleming thinks may be preventing me from getting pregnant or reducing our chances of those little guys from getting past my uterus.

We determined the next step. That little polyp has got to go. We schedule the surgery for May 12th. I'll have to go under for this one, something I've never done before. Keeping a positive attitude, I know God is walking us down the plan for this baby and eliminating any possible obstacles along the way!

3/28/11 - I Hate Needles!

March 28th, 2011 - My 1st ultrasound and blood work at Dr.Fleming's office. Of course I was nervous, but who wouldn't be? I knew what the procedure would entail, but nothing can really prepare you for your first ultrasound. Luckily, when I got to the office I found out that the nurse would perform the procedure! This was a relief and I told her I had never had one of these done. She said it was no big deal and to relax. The room was dark and had a screen to watch the ultrasound while she did it. It really was not that big of a deal and I'd come to find out I would have so many more of these... lol. She found a fibroid, but everything else looked normal. Good news I am thinking! Next, I move on around the corner to have my blood work done. I really hate needles and have passed out in the past from having blood taken and getting shots. Oh boy. But, the nurse was amazing, kept me distracted and I was out in no time! Now the wait to hear the results from Dr.Fleming.

The results.. Dr.Fleming has looked at my insurance plan and understands there is a process to get through this to get to the infertility treatments, if it turns out that is my case. My blood work comes back fine. Dr.Fleming mentions the fibroid, but very seldom does this effect woman from getting pregnant. Our next step is to do the 'dye test' or hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test. We schedule this for April 13th. Progress! I'm anxious to see what this test will see.